I’m Such a Spaz!
So yesterday afternoon I took a lovely lunch. I decided that as it was a perfect fall day (temperature in the mid 60’s, blue sky, slight breeze), I would go for a walk.
As some of you may know, my older sister was here for the weekend. On both Saturday and Sunday she made a trek to the Starbucks down the road from me. It’s important to point out that there are, in fact, two Starbucks within a four block strip of town. One is closer to my house, while the other is closer to the location of my most recent theatrical endeavors. She went to the Starbucks near the theater as it was more practical given our time frame.
On both occasions, she spoke with a very cute barista. He was quite pleasant and she enjoyed chatting with him. I met him on the second occasion and we learned that he and I had a mutual interest in theater. He was even so kind as to give us each an additional shot of espresso for free.
Before she got on the plane, Jenni made me promise that I would return to said Starbucks and tell the cute barista that she thought he was attractive.
Yesterday, on my autumnal walk, I decided to do just that. I began my trek with the delighted amusement of someone on a silly quest. So what if the coffee shop to which I was headed was several blocks out of my way and substantially further from work than the other Starbucks? I was on a mission.
I walked with purpose, studying my lines for the second show. I was proud of my multi-tasking abilities. I arrived at the Starbucks a little sweaty and gross from my quick walking, but invigorated by my quest.
I paused at the door to put my shoes back on. As I rarely wear high heels, my feet are not quite prepared for them and I’ve been known to blister. Rather than risk the pain of pinched toes, I walked most of the way with my cute, pink heels in my bag. I replaced my shoes, wiped some sweat off of my face and marched inside.
Immediately upon my arrival, I simultaneously noticed two important details. One: the cute barista who motivated this entire trip was not in the Starbucks. Two: a very cute boy of somewhat ambiguous sexuality (which makes him infinitely more attractive to me) was in the Starbucks, sitting at a table with a group of people I did not know, looking terribly important.
I was instantly mortified at my sweaty face and dirty feet (not that he could see them) and skulked to the counter to order my tall, non-fat Pumpkin Spice latte with whip. Yes, I know. Moving on.
I waited with mild impatience for my beverage to be steamed and stirred, all the while hoping that I would be able to slink out unnoticed, while simultaneously hoping that the cute boy would say hello to me. I cautiously looked over at his table and we made eye contact. He smiled and pointed at me from across the coffee shop. I smiled back and turned back to my barista who was actively adding whipped cream to my drink as I silently willed him to move faster thus enabling me to make my escape.
Just as I turned to leave with my coffee, the cute boy stopped me at the door to say hello and greeted me with a hug. As much as I enjoyed said hug (he’s the perfect height and build and my heels put me at a great level near his chin, not to mention that he seems to be quite strong), I was embarrassed to note that the sweating had not stopped and I was almost sticking to his perfectly clean shirt.
Apparently, he was serving jury duty and was on a break. Part of me wants to take it as a sign that on the one day I walk across town to get my coffee to go to the Starbucks I seldom frequent, he just happened to be there as well while serving jury duty. Instead, all I could think of was, “I’m here to make fun of my sister for her crush and instead I run into mine!”
We chatted about theater for a few moments and then he turned to rejoin the other jurors. I felt motivated to call out to him and when he came back, I invited him to a Halloween party on Saturday night. He declined as he already had plans. They were perfectly legitimate plans, but there was no mention of “Maybe some other time.”
Disappointed and flushed bright pink, I waved and left the Starbucks to hurry back to work. While I realize that there may not be a ton of embarrassing things in this story, I felt like the biggest spaz to ever walk the face of the planet. This is not helped by the fact that I can’t tell if he’s a well put together and terribly cultured straight man who I want to take home to my parents, or if he’s a fabulous gay man who would make a terrific pal. It’s all very complicated.
So that is my most recent spaz attack. Please take a moment to revel in the fact that it was me making an idiot of myself and not you.
1) You weren’t a spaz. You had a lovely bite of life right there.
2) Get your ass BACK to that Starbucks to tell MY crush I thought he was infinitely attractive and should he decide to have a career in Nashville, to look me up!
October 18th, 2007 at 8:29 am1) You weren’t a spaz. You had a lovely bite of life right there.
2) Get your ass BACK to that Starbucks to tell MY crush I thought he was infinitely attractive and should he decide to have a career in Nashville, to look me up!
October 18th, 2007 at 9:07 am