Goodbye Is Never Easy
For the last three days I have galavanted about in Connecticut and sundry other New England states. I have eaten my weight in snack-sized Kit Kats and mini bags of Skittles. I have also had pizza, burgers, subs, and more DunkinDonuts than I thought possible to consume in a mere three days. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that today’s tummy ache has less to do with my food madness and a bit more to do with having to leave.
You see, about a week ago I made a rather impulsive decision to come to Connecticut to visit my very best friend. (With all due respect to the many, many other wonderful people in my life.) She moved away from Colorado this summer. You may connect that move with a significant drop in my blogging as I went into a bit of a funk and didn’t want to write everyday about how miserable I was. (And believe me, that’s what you have seen.)
After four months I just couldn’t take it any more and decided to be spontaneous and buy a damn ticket. This is made more impressive given that my general idea of spontaneity is usually only one month of planning. Armed with a mere 48 hours worth of effort, I let her know that I’d be on my way. I took time off of work, finagled rides to and from the airport in two different cities, and squeezed an awful lot of stuff into my wee carryon bag.
I got to Connecticut on Friday afternoon. You know how sometimes you remember something one way and when presented with it it’s something else entirely? Maybe you loved Count Chocula as a kid but now find it too sweet? Or you thought that you could never get tired of the Spice Girls but now when they come on the radio you can turn it fast enough? Well, that did not happen. In fact, it felt like the four months never happened. I fell back into easy conversation, feeling just as comfortable and natural as I always have. It was like slipping into a favorite sweater. You didn’t even realize you were cold until suddenly you were wrapped up and warm and cozy again. It’s a nice feeling.
After one evening in which we embraced the less-than-shining side of our personalities (sometimes a girl needs to be free to be a little catty, that’s all I’m saying), we ate ourselves silly at a killer New Haven brick oven pizza place. Sooo worth the wait. We ate most of a large pizza (to be fair, we had help from her exceptionally tall husband), an order of garlic bread, some bruschetta, and then stopped for ice cream sundaes. This was after a tour of New Haven and parts of the Yale campus (which is as fancy as you might expect. I mean, after all, it is Yale).
Saturday morning we awoke to a downpour. Rather than follow our original plan of going to either Boston or New York, we decided to take a day and throw back to the Colorado lazy Saturdays. We went to grab breakfast, then off to the outlet mall for some bargain shopping, then a movie, then home for subs. Pretty sure there was more stuck in there, but those were the highlights. (Wait! We also did some Yale shopping, ate Indian food, and went to an art gallery.)
While oohing and aahing over discount Kate Spade purses (why didn’t I just spend the $40?! Why?!) there was also much discussion of life issues. It’s amazing how much easier it is to tell your best friend that life sometimes sucks when you aren’t trying to condense a week into a 20-minute phone call. Both of us shared things good and bad. All while seeking out killer discounts and walking away with some super cute sweaters. It was retail therapy at its finest
Skipping ahead a bit, I saw the house that my dear friend and her husband had put a bid on. Now, on the one hand, buying a house means staying here for a while. I’m not thrilled about that. On the other hand, if my best friend buys a house, I’m going to be happy for her. Kind of a no-brainer. On a brief tour of the neighborhood I got a glimpse of the property. A few hours later, she found out that their offer had been accepted. Interestingly enough, I am the first of all of her friends to see the house she bought. And I live two time zones away! We were both struck by the thought that, even living as far apart as we do, we will still manage to be there for the really big events.
Rather than get into too many details about the side trip to Boston (during which we ate at a Sinatra diner, saw some dancers on the street, walked part of the freedom trail, and stopped at an Irish pub known as The Purple Shamrock) I just need a moment to focus on the big thing that’s been weighing on my mind today.
I have to say goodbye again. This summer, when she moved away, I had a bit of a collapse into a gross mess of teary Kari. A good friend came over to try to help me. He brought candy and a sappy movie and I wept for two hours into a bottle of calamine lotion (did I mention that I was currently covered in horrific bug bites?) and ate my way through most of a bag of Milky Way candy bars. While I’ve never been what you might call a “cryer,” that summer I cried a lot. It was quite the transition. Now, after this great weekend and the joy of seeing her again, I have hit that part that I hate. Now I have to say goodbye again and leave. (Why did I forget about this part?)
If I thought it would suck less this time, I was at least partly right. I’m not driving home alone in the rain, sobbing into my stearing wheel. That’s a step up. And I’m not feeling as destitute. Sappy though it may sound, this trip helped make me aware of some things. First, Colorado and Connecticut are not impossibly far away from each other. Apparently, when the need arises a trip can be arranged right quick. That’s good to know. Second, as evidenced by the house, we can still be around for big events. Moving away doesn’t have to be the end-all situation it was when I was a kid and packing up every other summer. I’m better at staying in touch at 27 than I was at 13. That’s progress.
So while it still sucks, and I do mean it sucks hardcore, to say goodbye again, I don’t feel quite so much like I’m going to cry for a month this time around. Maybe just a day or two. And for me, that’s real progress.
Still sucks here. I’ll let you know when it stops sucking…I’m not holding my breath.
October 26th, 2009 at 5:43 pmDid the sucking commence so quickly? That means I’ll have to start planning another trip soon, I guess.
Sorry things are still crummy. Miss you already. Don’t let the man get you down.
October 27th, 2009 at 9:03 pm