What Are You Worried About?
For those who haven’t heard, I’m still with the window-scraper. And I’m in love with him. Oh yeah. I’m tossing the word at him all the time now. I can’t help it. Naturally, the first time was the hardest. In fact, a la Miranda of Sex in the City fame, I picked a fight with him before I said it. As much as I hate fighting, it’s easier than saying “I love you” for the first time.
This whole adult relationship thing is hard work. Not only are you battling your own persistent insecurities, but you’re battling theirs, too. Not only are you reeling from your own past, but you’re accepting theirs as well. Now, I have discovered that once you’ve hit that “I love you” part, you don’t mind their past or insecurities all that much any more.
It’s like watching your favorite movie. There might be a scene or two that you’ll get up and get a drink or go to the bathroom because you don’t care if you miss that part, but at the end of the day, it’s still part of your favorite movie. How about this example? I love Frank Sinatra. I intend to walk down the aisle to his voice someday (I would walk down the aisle to him personally, but he up and died before I could sign up to be the fifth Mrs. Frank). I can’t honestly say that I love every song he ever recorded. The man was in music for more than 60 years and released hundreds of songs. Even if I’m not in love with all of his movies or all of his songs, that doesn’t mean he isn’t still my all time favorite singer.
Oddly enough, for me the hard part isn’t worrying about your partner’s stuff. It’s worrying about how they’ll handle yours. It seems like a no brainer for me to say that I love him and that I want him just as he is. Despite that, it blows my mind that he feels the same way. Drat these insecurities!
Still, three months later and I’m really happy. For me, this might be a record in length of relationship. At least, since high school.
So happy to be a (positive) character in your blog. And life.
December 7th, 2009 at 12:13 pmI’m pretty happy about it, too.
December 8th, 2009 at 11:08 am