It’s a Big Step
Last night Irving asked me something that could take our relationship to the next level. We’re talking, a huge step. Earth-shaking in its implications, this new level of our relationship could be the biggest step I’ve ever taken.
It requires a level of trust and faith I’ve never had in any other relationship before. It means letting my guard down and showing the true and raw nature of my soul. It would force me to show unguarded emotion and vulnerability. It means he’d see me cry. He’d see me laugh. He’d see me react in completely unpredictable ways. There’s no telling what sides of my personality he’d be exposed to.
Not only would I have to worry about being that vulnerable with another person, but what if, upon witnessing this level of intense madness, he should decide that being with me is too great a risk? I confess that I have moments when I am not the most attractive version of myself. In fact, at times I’m awful.
Still, taking this step also means sharing unparalleled joys. It means being together for moments of utter delight and happiness. It means spontaneous laughter and the sensation of pure elation.
I mean, we’ve only been together for 5 months. Yes, I love him. Yes, I have dreams of us staying together forever. Sure, I have crazy girl moments when I picture our future way down the road. But just because I love him doesn’t mean I’m sure I’m ready for this. And what of the risks? What if sharing this experience pushes us too far? I hate the idea of losing him.
Are we ready to watch the Tony Awards together? He’s been warned. He’s seen glimpses of the crazy. He’s heard stories. He’s seen the glint in my eye and the flush on my cheeks when I talk about that magical day. Now he wants to experience it with me. He know there are rules. He knows he would not be exempt from them. But is he really ready for it? Are we ready for it? Can our relationship survive the Tonys?
Well, they aren’t until June 13, 2010. We have some time. Still, the fact that he asks leads me to believe that this relationship really is going somewhere. If he can still love me on June 14, 2010, then I think we can safely say that he’s the one. Thoughts?
Now, does he know they are watched here on the big screen? IF he can take the Tony’s at the farm with you and your sisters and your mother then I am totally convinced he has to stick around.
January 31st, 2010 at 4:55 pmI’m not sure I actually made the commitment to attend, yet. . . Hmm. Will there be beer-battered onion rings available? Or simply beer? I would probably require that.
February 8th, 2010 at 11:06 amThe Tony Fest? A male at THE Tony Fest? Hmmmmmm….. the weird o’ meter is starting to rise a bit here — or have you totally failed to enlighten him on the requirements to attend THE Tony Fest? And I was getting ready to invite him to Hooters that night…..
Then again, I have participated in voting other’s off the “P” island…
March 27th, 2010 at 9:53 am