Guest Blog from my Dad – Battle of the Brown Eggs
I don’t often post guest blogs, but this one was so beautiful, I couldn’t resist.
Bear – Here is a “guest blog” for your site:
To my daughter Bearski -
Tis Saturday morning, up at 6:30 after bed at 1:30 because no human being except your mother can sleep through the horrendous “I’m extra quiet in the morning” sister as she slams drawers, clinks glasses, and stomps through the house getting ready for work. So now what shall I do I asked myself, mainly because mother was still sleeping through the horrendous daughter onslaught and being alone there was no one else to ask, I know I answered – I’ll prove my number 3 daughter wrong. She may think she is an expert at cooking because she has read the entire Joy of Cooking cover to cover, has more time watching the food network than an airline captain has in the cockpit, and basically has become a self proclaimed (and quite excellent if I may add) self made born to cook chef`, but I am after all – her father and we all know — Father Knows Best.
You see, this quest started on fathers day when all six of my children minus the oldest daughter making it actually 5 came to the house and decided to make dad his favorite breakfast for brunch consisting of bacon – extra crispy of course, biscuits and gravy, fruit and of course southern fried eggs. As they began to cook, the aroma was almost too much to bear. I was swiggin coffee like pig at a trough who wasn’t fed the day before. I was observing with glee and festivity my children as they cooked for, chatted with, and doted on — me. It was incredibly warm, comforting and of course put a huge smile on my face.
Then – quietly, it almost happened – disaster. My youngest daughter (who ya gotta love cuz she’s the baby) opened the fridge and took out —– the wrong eggs. She grabbed the white eggs not the brown. Gadzooks I said to myself (this time because I did not want anyone to hear) she is about to ruin brunch. I quietly slipped over to her and gently whispered into her ear – “Hon – please use the brown eggs as they have a deeper richer taste, they cost more of course but I only buy the best”. (This may be disputed by some in the room with a hearing issue because they may describe it as a rather loud bark of “hey – didn’t I teach you better than to use cheap white eggs? What’s up with that?”) to which my the daughter I’m trying to prove wrong (Remember her? the chef from the beginning of this story?) replied and here is the crux of the story – “sorry to bust your bubble father dear, but there is no difference between them” To which I argued – and quite vehemently mind you – that:
-Brown eggs have a richer flavor,
-it must be more protein in the yolk,
-they are bigger and
-they cost more
-and the different taste makes them a better choice.
She simply replied (and with a smirky smile that says “Oh father dear, I raised you far better than this”) – “Nope, they are the same inside, no difference, only color of the shell”. Well, as I did not wish to spoil the brunch, I secretly vowed that one day, I would prove her wrong on this vital piece of cookery trivia.
And today is the day. So, doing what every father who knows best does, I sat down here at the PC and did what all fathers do – Goggled “Brown eggs v. white eggs” and “which is better, brown eggs or white?”. And to my utter astonishment – and as painfully as this may sound (if you are a father, you may want to skip the rest of this paragraph as it contains words of brutality that may conjure up images that will only sadden you beyond any sense of reality) – it appears, I mean it looks like, Uh, it may be possible, ummm, I have read here, oh my – yes, it appears she may be—– oh hell just say it — “RIGHT.”
How can this be? site after site spewing words destroying a belief I have held since my grandma first slammed a plate of brown eggs in front of me and Gramps said “yep – brown eggs sure make breakfast better” The sites said Brown eggs are brown because chickens with brown feathers and ear lobes lay brown eggs (have you ever seen a brown chicken ear lobe?). There is no difference in protein, the white, the smell and yes even the taste. Simply put, they cost more because the chickens that lay brown eggs are bigger and eat more which of course is passed to – the consumer (like me). NO WAY!!!
Nay I said, Nay. This can not be true. So, with all the brilliance of a dad who simply must be right – I did what all of us males in the house would do – I conducted – an experiment. I cooked one of each, put them on the same plate, cut them up each on their own half, placed the plate in front of me, closed my eyes, spun the plate and with my eyes still closed, I sought to prove all of the “no difference in eggs” pundits on the planet that they were all wrong. I am the king and am always right. My people follow my wisdom – I do not fail them – I lead them into the waters of ….oh what a bunch of crap. The truth is – my daughter rose to the height of Gulliver solving the egg dilemma of Lilliput and simply said – “there is no difference, the eggs are the same, deal with it Daddy” and – she was and is right. They taste the same. I owe you an apology my dear, you are right.
So, Like Tommy finally becoming aware, I will now no longer care about the color of our eggs. I am however off with a vengeance to right the wrong of years gone by. I am off to research lawsuits to see if I can recover extra money spent on those damn brown eggs.
Love Dad
Good luck with the lawsuit! LOL!
Lots of people are surprised to learn that the only difference between white and brown eggs is the colour of the shell! Brown eggs typically cost more because, as you mentioned, the brown-egg laying hen is a little bigger so she eats more. Also, there are fewer brown eggs around than white so they’re often considered a specialty egg. Finally, since consumers often think the brown egg is a better eggs, the stores figure they can charge more for them!
Now you know better!
June 30th, 2010 at 2:47 pmGee, I love your writing. It reads easily, like eating creamy chocolate. And, your Dad has a good sense of humor about learning from the younger generation. Thanks, please keep it up.
July 4th, 2010 at 5:58 pmThat’s really wonderful to hear, thank you. And given how often my dad is right about things, it’s nice that he’s so good about it when he is… slightly less than right.
July 6th, 2010 at 5:46 pm